At last, my moment of glory has arrived! Today a winter storm begins that promises to drop between 6 and 10 inches of snow on Ohio! That means....
THE RETURN OF THE ANATOMICALLY CORRECT SNOWMEN!
Last year, I started the anatomically correct snowmen to annoy the very condescending Pentecostal minister across the street. Since then, I've moved.
But guess what?
I'm four houses down from a BAPTIST CHURCH!
Oh the joy! Oh the rapture! Now I get to offend more than just a mere family! I get to piss off an entire CONGEGRATION! The only thing that could POSSIBLY be more fun to me would be if Hillary Clinton lost her voice--permanent laryngitis would be cause for celebration.
All of my tools are ready to go, including red food coloring to enhance that oh-so-cute human flesh tone. Although the rest of the family is clamoring for a gigantic bird in the front yard (not the animal but the gesture) I'm still holding out for very cold nudity.
And the greatest benefit of this? In the middle of the storm, the snow is supposed to change to ICE. ROFLMAO! That will keep my artistic endeavors solidly in the Christian eye for a loooooooooooong time.
Life is good. I think I'll go bake some brownies.