Friday, February 16, 2007

The First Asphodel Promo

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Sometimes people make me want to spew

Okay, to start off with everyone knows I am NOT a dog person. I don't like things that make loud noises, drool on my furniture, and require me to exercise frequently.

That being said....

Last night I was working at the bar. A bar regular from up the street walks in with a dog. Not just any dog. This dog appears to be a pit bull/dalmatian mix (what idiot allowed THAT to happen?) and a puppy on top of that--maybe a couple of months old. Apparently, the puppy was running up and down the street in the MIDDLE of the street for an hour.

As best we can figure, someone dropped the puppy off at the Fairgrounds across the street. He obviously is NOT an outdoor dog. He's solid white and extremely clean, and completely clueless as to the fear factor assigned to things like cars and trucks. So my friend brings him to the bar in the hopes that he can find the owner. He can't take the dog in himself and it's below zero outside.

Yep, you guessed it. I called home and had them come get the puppy. I figured that we could keep him long enough to run "Found" ads and put up posters. I completely neglected to remember what a puppy does on his first night in a new place.

It barks. It yips. It howls. It chases my cats. It drinks from the toilet. It neglects the puppy chow we got for him and eats the cat food. It goes outside and howls, then comes in and takes a dump on my carpet. It thinks that my new couch is an appropriate dog bed. It yells at cars incessantly out the front window. In short, my entire household has been disrupted in the course of less than 12 hours.

Allow me to reiterate: I am not a dog person.

However....

It's not the dog's fault. It hasn't been trained. It's obviously one of those sad, pitiful stories where someone got that 'adorable little puppy' and then couldn't handle it as the puppy began to grow. I figure the puppy is about two months old. Judging from the size of his paws I'll be able to saddle him and ride him to the store by May.

So once again, my sympathy for the plight of a forlorn animal has completely screwed up my world. It makes me want to find the idiot who did this and kick him/her in the nose. More than once. Even if I liked dogs, I have neither the time nor the energy to take care of a puppy and train it correctly. I'm hoping that when he calms down, I'll be able to stand it. At the moment, the outlook is bleak.

Yes, I know. I could take the dog to the Humane Society. I could have left it outside to get hit by a car or freeze to death. I could have looked at my friend and said, "So? It's not my problem."

But then I would be just like the moron who did this to the puppy in the first place. And that, my friends, is unacceptable.

So, I'll take care of the silly thing until I find its owner or find it a home. And the whole time, I'll be praying that my daughter doesn't get attached to it. I'll also be planning my speech if I DO find the owner. And that will not be pleasant for them.

For Pete's sake. DO NOT GET A PET IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE CARE OF IT, LOVE IT, AND KEEP IT SAFE FROM HARM. How freaking hard could it be?

*Sigh.* I hope I can get the smell of dog out of my couch.