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Showing posts from May, 2006

The Theme for Today: Heat

I hate summer. Truly hate it. Hate it with a passion. My idea of heaven is 72 degrees year round. Today the high in Ohio is supposed to hit 95.

In May.

Someone shoot me. Of course, my air conditioning works well and I have no reason to leave the house. I have groceries, the kitten is weaned, there's a bottle of wine already chilling for the mscelina happy hour at 4 p.m.--I should be happy, right?

Nope.

Deadline tomorrow for the erotica sequel. Yep, that would be heat as well. It's much harder to write hot sex scenes because you have to. ( A prostitution analogy comes to mind here, but I'll bypass it in favor of continuing my rant.) After all, sex is sex, right? It doesn't have to be ....creative.

ROFLMAO!

I wish. Your normal, run-of-the-mill everyday sex isn't hot enough for the fatnasy erotica market. It has to be....more out of the box (oops! bad analogy!) .... er.... over the top (not much better) ...er... inclined to drive the point home (damnit!) ....…

God's Sense of Humor Part II

You know, I think God may have a sense of humor after all.

I have a huge bed. It's one of those massive faux-Oriental king-sized beds with a six-foot headboard and drawers and storage underneath. I love my bed--it's comfortable, I can stretch out in it, and if I shut the drawer I can keep the cats out of the bedroom.

Except for two. My cat Pixie just had a litter of kittens, of which only one survived. I named her Asphodel (yeah, you'd be using these names too if you had to keep creating new ones every day) and she and her mother live in the bedroom until the kitten is big enough to fend for herself. Every once in a while I let the bigger cats in to get them acquainted.

So, at any rate, one of the big cats swatted at the kitten. I lunged for the cat, not even thinking about how high up I was, the featherbed slipped sideways and I landed hard on the floor.

Hard.

To cap matters off, I hit my ankle on the corner of the marble-topped pedestal I use as a bedside table and cr…

Curiouser and Curiouser

Explain this to me, damnit.

No, really.

I have been working on Asphodel for TWENTYish years. (okay, okay, only working really hard for three) I am STILL revising the damn thing. Yesterday, I rewrote/revised/edited 18 chapters of the first books.

In mscelinaland, that's approximately 350 pages, by the way.

Goddess' Revenge I wrote in two days. Two days. In Isabelle Spurrier's land (nice psuedonym, eh? It's all because I hate the head football coach at South Carolina....He Who Shall Remain Nameless) that's approximately 50 pages.

Asphodel is still on the market--back on the market I should say. Goddess' Revenge is sold.

All I could say when I opened the email was "Are you fucking kidding me?" I think I said it about five times. Then, of course, I couldn't download all the little attachments with the contract, etc. So I had to write back like a dumbass and ask the editor-in-chief to resend them.

They still didn't work.

I forwarded the email from my Hotma…

God's Sense of Humor, pt. 1

So you've heard me claim that God hasn't much of a sense of humor, right? I take it back. Within a few minutes of posting my last blog entry, I came down sick. Not just spring cold sick either. A bone-chilling, joint-aching, fever-ridden case of full-blown flu. Even on my laptop, it's impossible to huddle under ten quilts and type at the same time. I'm feeling just well enough to crank out this blog and do some hand corrections on Darkshifters at the moment.

More indications of the Divine Comedy? Let's see--it's rained for 8 days consecutively...only 32 more to go until the ark has to be done. My job which was supposed to be 2 days a week--no more--has suddenly blossomed into a five day a week behemoth. My brother actually used a polysyallbic term in a conversation last night (granted, the term was 'bondsman' but who am I to quibble?) which I'm reasonably positive has never happened before.

Oh, and President Bush has a *plan* for stopping ill…

Deadlines Blow

Ever feel like you've bitten off more than you can chew? I've bitten off more than I can conceivably eat. Everything always rolls in at the same time (haven't you noticed?) . In the next two weeks, I have deadlines approaching on Asphodel,Darkshifters, and a little erotica e-book I wrote for fun.

Bad enough that I have to do major rewrites on all three projects, but even worse that they all occur simultaneously. I figure if I work 20 hours a day I might get two of them completed by the end of the month.

As a writer, my greatest skill is volume. I can produce upwards of 10k words per day if I am undisturbed and the Muse stays out of the vodka. Asphodel is already 7 books, almost 2 million words and still going--my three year project. Darkshifters/Coils is two books, 350k words; I've been working on it since October. Goddess' Revenge is 20k--an erotica novella with a sequel. I've been working on it for two weeks. If you add in the numerous short stories, …

Easily Offended? Don't Read This.

You know, sometimes I wonder if God really has a sense of humor. Yeah, yeah I know--the aardvark is alleged proof of the Almighty's comedic skills but let's get serious for a second:

Huh? The war in Iraq? Not that fucking serious, moron. This is my blog so it's about me.

Do you think that maybe, just freaking maybe, someone will give me a damn break? Just for comic relief, say, or to raise funds for the homeless? Maybe even as a charity? SOMETHING.

Okay, explain this to me: my younger brother (we'll call him..........er................Stan) is the executor of my mother's estate--mostly because he lives in the same town. He moved into her house (which I had no problem with). Then I get this phone call. Here's the conversation.

"Hey, Celina, what are you doing?"
"Dying, how about you?"
"Are you busy this week?"

(nota bene: any conversation with "Are you busy this week" as the second conversational gambit is probably not going to t…