Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Just When You Think You've Got It All Together...

We all have plans.  I have all sorts: plans for my family, plans for my life, and sort of at the top of the list at the moment are the career plans.  I'm at the point in my life that I'd always said I would get around this age: devoting myself to my writing. (Yeah, I'm editing too, but that goes hand in hand with it.  Every manuscript I edit makes my own writing better--I see my own flaws on someone else's page. At any rate) And right at the moment in my personal journey when I'm ready to break ahead and take that next step, something happens to screw it all up.

As life-altering changes go, this one isn't THAT bad. The artifical disc that was supposed to last forever and eliminate my back pain didn't do either. I have to have another back surgery--a fusion to stabilize the broken prosthesis.  A few days in the hospital, a few months in a back brace with very limited physical activity, probably a year or so of physical therapy--and a best case scenario prognosis for the relief of 60% of my pain.

Maximum. More likely? Less than half.

The surgery isn't optional; it has to be done. The broken prosthesis can't be removed. I'm stuck with it. And, as a result, will always have pain.  None of that really bothers me.  This is how stupid I am: I'm worried about not getting the WIP done on schedule--a self-imposed schedule at that. I'm not worried about dying on the operating table or the pain (although that isn't pleasant to consider) or anything else except how long it will take me to be able to stand sitting at my computer and getting back to my story.

Yeah, I realize that for the first week at least, more likely two, I'm not going to give a rat's ass about the story, and with a big incision in my back I'm not going to want to lie down with the laptop either.

But three months????

Three MONTHS!

Damn.

So. The best I can do is to write as fast as I can now and hope for the best.  I figure I'm within 100 pages of the end.  Maybe...just maybe...I can get this done.  And even if I can't, I'll spend a lot of time thinking about it, reconfiguring it, twisting and turning it.

And yes, I find the fact that the story is about Jack the Ripper quite ironic, thank you very much.

2 comments:

clairewriteswords said...

So sorry about your upcoming surgery. That's awful news. I hope it makes a difference for you though and at least lessens some of the pain.

Laurence Brown said...

The day a writer starts o see his flaws, it is said that he has become a real writer. We wish you good luck with your surgery and speedy recovery!