So I had to shave the cat

For any cat fanciers out there, I'm sure you can feel my pain. I have a 23 pound long haired black cat named Dante. Dante is a sweetheart. He's affectionate without being pushy, which is difficult in this house, and he treats the little cats well. He's one of the two cats I bought. He was a kitten on sale because he was sick :( so we bought him and made him all better.

Hold on. Let me reiterate my main thought. TWENTY THREE POUNDS. LONG HAIR.

Get the picture?

At any rate, Dante's only drawback is that he isn't the cleanest cat in the world. I mean heck! That's a lot of hair to groom. So, every once in a while, for his health and my sanity (not to mention the preservation of my carpets) I have to shave the cat. Dante HATES being shaved. Hell, I hate shaving him. Thank god he's declawed. So today, after he leaves me a little present right in front of the cat box (thank you, you bastard) I took it upon myself to restrain the squirming, completely frantic feline and shave him down.

To the skin.

He has his ruff and a pouf on his tail (after all, it is summer and there are flies) and looks absolutely retarded. For those of you who don't know, a black cat does not have black skin. He looks like an Andy Warhol silkscreen. Then I had to bathe him. Imagine if you will popping a completely traumatized half-bald cat into a tub of soapy water (with skin agents, natch) and scrubbing him down. If nothing else, he does feel better now--at the moment he's running around with a toy mouse in his mouth.

I, on the other hand, am exhausted.

Oh, and the total word count last night? *grin* 9,430 words. Looks like the bitch is back.

Motivation Schmotivation

*winces*

Boy, that was a bad pun.

At any rate, as much as I preach about writing something every day, i find myself staring helplessly at the computer screen for hours at a time. Granted, lately I've been so involved with things outside of my writing and inarguably more important (life issues suck) but what in the HECK happened to my ability to block everything else out and just write?

Part of it may have disintegrated when I discovered that a hospital waiting room is not the best place to write erotica--particularly when the asshole sitting behind you is reading over your shoulder (pig) and THEN gets offended. Talk about a mood killer. Needless to say, I mad sure to sit in a corner with my back to the wall after that.

Part of it may have to do with the fact that I'd initially said I would not write on deadline this summer in an attempt to get my "real" writing rhythm back--then collapsed morally and agreed to do not one but two contracted stories. Sometimes I have the backbone of a wet lasagna noodle.

Part of it may have to do with the fact that I am pissed Nora Roberts has bobbleheads and I don't. *pout*

Most of it, I think, has to do with the fact that I inevitably have something else that HAS to be done: house cleaning, taking the brat to the doctor, weeding my garden, DOING ENDLESS EDITS, working on promo or websites.....almost ANYTHING that will keep me from sitting down and applying my brain to a particularly nasty plot snag or character development.

Then again, it may be that I spend so much time and effort right now on plot snags and character development that I just can't let myself go and just write. So, today I'm trying an experiment. The spousal unit is out of town on a business trip. I work this afternoon for four hours or so and get home around six. I think I'll ship the brat off for a night of frivolity and teeanged hedonism and take back my study. I have a goal today: I want to get 8k written before I go to bed. I've already set up all of my research materials and I'm going to head straight into work.

Eight thousand words. At my best, I could pull off 1500 words an hour; I'm being kind and saying only 1k per hour tonight...which will put me to bed at 2 a.m. *takes deep breath* I can do it. Stay tuned; I'll post results tomorrow.

Promo, Promo, Promo

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And now it's crunch time

After yet another emergency trip down south, I am now once again behind.

This really ticks me off. It's not like I TRY to get behind. I've had to be good in real life lately so that's made me bad in writing life. So I'm locking myself away until Saturday and getting everything done. *grin* Fortunately, I'm quick. That helps a lot.

So I have more edits due on Asphodel, which is looking like an end of June release, plus as much promo as I can drum up for it, plus another 28k due to Changeling inthe same amount of time, plus getting the anthology submission ready and forwarding it on to my editor, plus trying to get SOME new writing done just to be different. Nah, I'm not busy.

In other news, I watched a fascinating show on the History Channel last night about the legacy of Star Wars. (Yes, I take out two hours a day for shows I want to watch--so sue me) The show was an exploration of the mythic origins of the Star Wars story and how archetypal themes and characterizations make the story pertinent. I must admit, even with my background in mythology and folklore I was vastly unprepared to sit on my couch and say *Wow, I do that* for two hours. Granted, I haven't studied Joseph Campbell in a few years but the whole concept of the mythic journey of the hero must have remained subconciously in the back of my mind when I wrote the Asphodel books.

George Lucas watch out. *grin*

Just paint a target on my forehead....

Why is it that every time I express a strong opinion I get creamed for it? Is it illegal for me to be convinced of something to the point where I can be passionate about it without someone lobbing a dart at my head? Am I THAT intimidating?

For example, over the past week the health situation within my family has deteriorated significantly. I expressed ONE opinion about what should happen next when it comes time to make health care decisions and I was lambasted for it by an aunt I haven't seen in ten years. Do you know what it's like to get a phone call EARLY one morning with someone squawking words like *ungrateful* *unfeeling* and *unsympathetic* at you? I mean, Jesus H. Christ! Come off it lady! You're just pissed because I'm in a position where my opinion counts and you are shunted off to the side as irrelevant.

Get a clue.

The upside of hospital waiting room for days on end is IF you have all of your edits downloaded you can get them ALL done.

*smirk*

Although sitting in a waiting room with screaming kids and daytime talk shows isn't the ideal environment for doing rewrites, it sure beats the alternative. I never cared much for Reader's Digest Condensed books. Too short.

So, on my latest first day back, I think I'll work on some short stories that fell by the wayside over the last few months and get some new submissions out there. Anything would be better than letting my head be used as a dartboard. *sigh* Just wait until I turn away and then aim for my back.

Someone stop the world, please

Jesus. Has it really been that long? Yep, it has. I haven't written a WORD in three weeks. Naturally, that will change today, but for the moment it's kind of....refreshing.

Refreshed is a good word to use here. Today, I WANT to write. Oh sure, I was able to jot down some stuff while sitting in the ICU waiting room for endless days on end.

Ideas, mostly; a few snippets of conversation or character sketches. I amused myself one day for hours and developed a whole new world to play with---no characters yet, but I'm working on it. Or at least, I will....if I can ever get caught up with my edits.

*pauses for semi-hysterical laughter*

Yeah. Like that will happen. I'll never get caught up. Never. Yes, I realize that is negative. I thrive on negativity. It goads me. Leave me alone; I'll never change.

So anyway, I'm back. Spidey 3 is out (no I haven't seen it. do you think I have time for a movie?) and Pirates will be out soon and we're only a couple of months away from the last Harry Potter book. I've got my schedule cleared (barring any more family emergencies) and I'm getting ready to really settle into a hefty writing stretch. Then we'll see what happens.

Of course, it would be a lot easier if someone stopped the world and let my life catch up.

What? We're Defined?

I'm not certain whether I should laugh or be distraught. Check out this definition I found on Wikipedia:

The definition of a fantasy author is somewhat diffuse, and a matter of opinion
- Jules
Verne considered H. G. Wells to be a fantasy
author - and there is considerable overlap with science
fiction authors and horror
fiction authors. However some notable part of the output of the following
writers leans more to the fantasy end of the spectrum:

Uh................huh?

So Verne considered Wells to be a fantasy author, did he? I wonder, just out of curiosity--what did Wells think of Verne?

Whoa. I could ponder the ramifications of that for hours.

At any rate, did anyone notice that the definition of fantasy author is not actually defined? Apparently, we overlap with scif-fi and horror---and that's it. Wonder what they say about fantasy.

Fantasy is a genre
of art that uses magic and other supernatural forms as a
primary element of plot, theme, or setting. The genre
is generally distinguished from science fiction and horror by overall
look, feel, and theme of the
individual work, though there is a great deal of overlap between the three
(collectively known as speculative
fiction). In its broadest sense, fantasy comprises works by many writers,
artists, filmmakers, and musicians, from ancient myths and legends to many recent works
embraced by a wide audience today.
The genre of fantasy is generally
distinguished from other works that may use things believed to be impossible by
its internal consistency (the marvels do not alter their behavior without reason
in a work) and its presentation as true in its context.[1]

Oh wait...is that speculative fiction I see thrown in there?

So if fantasy differs from the rest of the speculative realm due to its overall look, feel, and theme then how do fantasy authors differ from their speculative brothers and sisters?

(Pauses while the inevitable comments about my overall look and feel get thrown into the ring...)

I think it may have something to do with "...use things believed to be impossible by its internal consistency...and its presentation as true in its context..." In a nutshell, a fantasy author finds a way to make the impossible credible. Sure, the willing suspension of disbelief must be applied to all speculative fiction if it is going to work, but what about fantasy requires MORE, not only from the author but from the reader as well? I thought about this for a while and this is what I came up with---*snicker*

Okay, the thing that makes true horror work (for me at least) is the sneaking suspicion that it COULD be possible. The psychological horror of a movie like Halloween works for me in that context; I can picture some six-year-old loon like Michael Myers. I can also imagine that somewhere in the world, that psychic link exists between siblings....ergo, the entire premise becomes credible to me.

Science fiction, on the other hand, operates (0nce again, let me toss out the *this is me* disclaimer) on what MAY be possible in the future. Think about it: do any of us really doubt that someday we'll perfect lightspeed technology? I don't. Once they managed to clone a sheep, my disbelief was willingly--and permanently--suspended.

But fantasy---ah, fantasy!---operates from the premise of what we each WISH for. What kid doesn't wish desperately for some magic way to get back at his/her parents or tormentors? I know I did! This hidden vein lies dormant in all of us. Look at the success of Harry Potter. Doesn't it speak eloquently of that wish? By the same token, don't we all wish to influence events around us through the use of mere thought?

Sooooooooooooo---reaching through the broadest spectrum of speculation, perhaps then a fantasy author is one who takes the secret wishes of humanity and makes them into reality.

*grin*

Yeah that works.

Something Needs to be Done--Virginia Tech Shootings

I am normally not one to jump the gun on a news story, but the horrific death toll from the Virginia Tech shootings today will not allow me my normal amount of caution. How is it possible that after Columbine, after 9/11 this type of massacre could take place?

The answer is simple. Guns.

The normal run of the mill person does not need guns. I do not have a gun in my home. My male relatives, who all hunt, have guns in their homes but those are normal shotguns--not semi-automatic handguns. Ask yourself this: WHAT POSSIBLE PURPOSE DO AUTOMATIC OR SEMI-AUTOMATIC WEAPONS SERVE IN OUR SOCIETY?

They kill. Pure and simple. They kill PEOPLE. You don't use a semi-automatic to kill a bird. You use it to commit a robbery...to off your spouse....to walk into a crowded classroom and execute the innocent. Despite the repeated attempts of NRA types to cite the constitutional right to bear arms, I'm reasonably certain that these types of weapons were not initially included in that right.

Nor should they be now.

Allow me to state for the record that I don't give a happy rat's ass right now about ANYONE'S right to bear arms. As more details come out about this, I may ameliorate my position on this--but I doubt it. Guns are too easily procurable in the US, too unregulated, and impossible to track. What weight does the right to bear arms have against the right to live that those victims had today?

Exactly. Not a damn bit.

Perhaps, as Blacksburg, Virginia grieves and people like me call their kids just for the reassurance of hearing their voices thanking God that it wasn't OUR lives affected, we can all take a minute and think. This does affect our lives. It changes the feeling of security we have for our children. The kids in college are supposed to be the *good* kids, the *safe* kids, the *smart* kids---this isn't supposed to happen, right?

Right?

Perhaps the NRA can take a moment too. Perhaps Charlton Heston can sit in his Hollywood mansion this afternoon, sipping a martini and pondering the influence he's had on this country. Perhaps, somewhere, someone will start making phone calls and say, "Hey, guys, you know: I think that we were probably wrong about this."

Yeah, I know. Dreams. The difference is that I still have mine. There are quite a few people not so far from here today that no longer HAVE their dreams.

Perhaps the freedom of the few should be compromised for the freedom of the many.

Forgive me while I go do something I haven't done for a long time. I'm going to go pray.

Back and Powered Up

Well, I finally gave up on the canine-destroyed laptop. This weekend, I broke down and bought a new one. Now I'm back online (without the constant whines of "Mom! I NEED to get on Myspace!") and working furiously to make up for lost time. I lost a week initially to my stepfather's funeral, then another ten days roughly to the failed attempt at laptop resurrection.

So, I am once again .... behind.

BEHIND?!?!?!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Whew. Feel better now that I have that primal typing out of my system.

At any rate, things seems to be seriously gearing up around here. I have a lot of projects on the table and am preparing (as soon as I get all of my stuff transferred to the new hard drive) a slew of submissions. I've kind of slacked on that over the last few months. And, as soon as I reach the light at the end of the tunnel, I'll be able to start writing NEW stuff.

Dang. I can't wait.

I've been researching heavily over the past few weeks. My question: how to promote an ebook. It's not like I can schedule an author tour in neighborhood bookstores. I can, however, schedule a cyber author tour. Yeah, me too--I was totally unaware such a thing existed. So, I'll keep you guys posted on whatever tiny shreds of enlightenment I gain on such a topic and for now----back to the edits.

Gee, it's nice to be back on a laptop. My couch has missed me.

*gasp!*

Oh....my.....gosh.....Lookee what I have! The cover for Asphodel is done! It's amazing how real everything seems when you get a cover. I thought that the image of the cherry tree in bloom during the blizzard in the prologue would make a good cover and apparently the artist agreed with me.

Wow. I feel smart for a change.

We're still pushing to get the edits done and I should have a release date soon. Right now it looks like mid-May...

I may never recover. *snicker*

At any rate, just thought I'd share!

Here we go again

Some people never learn.

Let's try this ONE more time, shall we? In case you missed a very steamed post of mine last summer, you might want to follow this link: to catch up on what I'm about to rant about.

pla·gia·rism /ˈpleɪdʒəˌrɪzəm, -dʒiəˌrɪz-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pley-juh-riz-uhm, -jee-uh-riz-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work.
2. something used and represented in this manner.
[Origin: 1615–25; plagiar(y) + -ism]

—Related forms
pla·gia·rist, noun
pla·gia·ris·tic, adjective
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

(thank you dictionary.com. Cut and paste is SO much fun)

At any rate, let's take this step by step. If you post something by a writer on your site/blog/journal/WHATEVER without first obtaining the permission of said writer and/or the publication that owns the rights to said story, then you are guilty of plagiarism. If you obtain a download of an e-book and sell it online to other people then you are committing a CRIME.

Does the word crime confuse you? Here, let me help you out:

crime /kraɪm/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[krahym] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. an action or an instance of negligence that is deemed injurious to the public welfare or morals or to the interests of the state and that is legally prohibited.
2. criminal activity and those engaged in it: to fight crime.
3. the habitual or frequent commission of crimes: a life of crime.
4. any offense, serious wrongdoing, or sin.
5. a foolish, senseless, or shameful act: It's a crime to let that beautiful garden go to ruin.

Once again, thank you dictionary.com!

I can't believe that after the scathing commentary and initial response not only by this author but others as well that blogger.com allowed the idiot at www.14blog.blogspot.com to post again and up to the same old tricks! When I found out that this moron had ONCE AGAIN posted writers' work (and one a very good friend) on his blog I left a fairly scathing comment.

He deleted it. *shrug* shock.

Left the spam up though. I was almost insulted that my words of wisdom were considered less injurious than spam, but what the heck! Obviously, I ticked him off. After other writer complaints, apparently, the blog has been pulled.

FINALLY.

As for the e-book pirates, you know who you are. Cut it out! I know that my publishers at least are aggressively pursuing (and prosecuting) those who think it's a quick and easy buck to pilfer copyrighted works and offer them on e-bay or other sales sites. It's not. Trust me. It will cost you a hell of a lot more in the end than it will cost me, and I'm very assertive about protecting the rights to my work. I don't have time for criminals and I will not tolerate it.

Granted, the e-publishing industry has a lot to answer for in its inability to protect the work of writers. It's easy to throw a site up and publish in the cyber-world and not so easy to make certain that a product of bytes and pdf. files remains under your control. For the first time, I feel a little empathy for the musicians who went after Napster. Just a little though. They make millions of dollars. I don't. My work ends up being far more valuable to me in the long run for that reason alone. Every pirated copy COSTS me money, and you guys know I am WAY too cheap to suffer that lightly.

So you idiotic piss midget (All rights reserved@2006 by bibsy, the coiner of said phrase) -- and you KNOW who you are-- get a clue. Did you REALLY think that those people who lambasted you last year weren't going to keep an eye on you? I mean, honestly, hasn't it been brought home to you that we are smarter than you? Get a new hobby! Post reviews about new kites, or complain about trash pickup or SOMETHING that won't get you into trouble. Quite frankly, I'm shocked you haven't been prosecuted yet.

And you will be if you post anything written by me. Period. Just a fair warning.

Now I'm grumpy. I think I'll go kill off some Elves.

Ah, the joys of editing

So yesterday was a productive day. I managed to get 80k of edits done on two different projects. I'm rather stoked about it all.

That's the good news. The bad news is that only 50k of it was on Asphodel; that means 66.66% left to go. *sigh*

It could be worse. Fortunately, almost all of my edits were technical nit picks instead of plot snags. Trust me: plot snags are MUCH worse. It's still not that encouraging to discover that you have a *that* and *was* problem in addition to the *adverbs* *dialogue tags* and *superfluous comma* problems. As if I NEEDED more technical problems.

I did receive compliments on handling POV and passive voice, however. I guess I finally fixed those issues. My English professors would be SO proud.

Some of you may have noticed my new graphic. *smirk, smirk* You can now find Elf Killing and Other Hobbies listed on Authors' Blogs, which is easily found at http://www.authorsblogs.com/ Apparently there are a lot of other writers out there with the same problem as me: *grin* we have our own website. Go check some of them out!

In other news, my sci fi vampire post apocalyptic story is going swimmingly, thank you. It's amazing how much I enjoy destroying things other than Elves. Quite a departure. The Requiem is my current favorite among WIPs though. I'm not quite sure which genre it will eventually end up in. I know that it will NOT be an erotica though so I'm quite happy about that.

At any rate, now that my edits are caught up (THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!) I intend to get a lot of writing done tomorrow. I want to see what the muse brings me next.

And if I don't like it, I'll shoot her.

Sorry I've been AWOL...

...but I spent the weekend at the NCAA tournament in Columbus. Oh, the joy! Allow me to say that I consumed copious amounts of beer, saw lots of great and a few mediocre basketball games, watched my team win and go to the Sweet Sixteen (YAY! GO VOLS!) and got absolutely nothing else accomplished. I was able to justify this to myself by thinking that the tickets for the aforesaid games were my anniversary present for my husband (our anniversary is tomorrow) but then was forced to admit that in actuality, I was too lazy to get any work done.

So, let the work begin.

I'm currently brainstorming my way through a new project. I've kind of decided that the Requiem vampire story will not be erotica (go figure) so now I have to come up with something else. Hmmmm.....what shall I write about? Something that will sell hopefully. As soon as I figure out what that is I'll let you know.

The new Pirate of the Caribbean trailer came out today. YOWSA! If the trailer is any indication, then this one will be the best of the three. I can't wait! May 25th I'll be yukking around the movie theatre for my annual Johnny Depp fix.

Did I mention GO VOLS????

I thought I had.

By a peculiar coincidence, Tennessee will play Thursday night for the chance to proceed to the Elite Eight. Who do they play?

THE BUCKEYES.

I am now officially the least popular bartender in the state of Ohio. Oh, the shame of it! What time is it? 6:09 p.m. EST and the Buckeyes still suck.

Just had to get that one in.

Oh well! The windows are open, the air is balmy, the brat is begging for Hamburger Helper, and I'm going to pull an all-nighter. What a glorious prospect for a writer in the spring! More later.