Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Terror in Ohio

If nothing else, I'm a compulsive complainer.

The next two weeks are devoted to the fair in real life. The fair normally doesn't affect me. I could give a rat's ass about rides that don't involve speeds of 90 plus miles per hour. Amusement parks, fine; fair, meh.

Unfortunately, this year the fair affects me. The name of the bar I work at: the Fairview. (Hint--the name is literal) That means that for the next two weeks, we have 28 bar shifts that are all Saturday nights. It's huge--both time-wise and money-wise. I'm looking forward to the money.

I resent the time.

Sitting down last night and trying to tweak the schedule, I realized that I will have to work 12 of the 14 days. TWELVE--translated, that's 72ish hours depending on how long it takes to close. All of those 72 hours I will be tormented by carnies. Have you ever served drinks to carnies? Holy crap---those people can drink and most of them spend the money they SHOULD be using for dentistry work on alcohol. It's scary. They are scary.

For the most part they seem like nice folks. That's not the point, though. The point is that my bar is the only bar within walking distance. They are ALL at the Fairview.


I am desperately trying to avoid the Austin Powers line about carnies and cabbage here. Unfortunately, the line is true. They do smell like cabbage. After a couple of hours, they smell like cabbage that's been steeped in whiskey for a few years. Not the most pleasant of smells, I assure you. The regulars won't come in while the carnies are there. Hell, I don't blame them. We're one day in and my back is already killing me. I won't even mention my feet. But then, I stop and consider the daily deposits I'm making in my bank account and I don't hurt as badly anymore. *grin* Ain't that amazing?

At any rate, I've been taking notes behind the bar about carnies. I have a feeling that a carnie story is in my future. A nice, ghoulish tale of horror on the midway.....hehehehe. So, for a while at least, stay tuned for daily carnie updates. Could life be any more interesting than this?