Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Spoilers and Buttholes

You know, I'm surprised it took this long for someone to leak Harry Potter.

Here we are, some scant three days away from the resolution of a series that single-handedly is responsible for dragging kids away from the Wii and Playstation and back into books, and some yehaw moron decides to swipe a copy of Deathly Hallows, scan it, and post it online.

Aside from the fact that it's PIRACY which is ILLEGAL, it's absolutely a cold-blooded thing to do. I mean, yeah, I've had my moments of assholishness. the one that immediately pops to mind happened about ten years ago when I was doing summer stock. Another actor was reading "Of Mice and Men". I walked up and asked, "Is this the first time you've read that book?"

"Yeah, it is."

"How cool. By the way, Lenny dies."

He was on page seven. Granted, I didn't like him that much. But, by that point the book had been out for decades. It's not like I broke into Steinbeck's house, stole his manuscript, and spammed it to the world.

Whoever this cheese-eater is, he's in for a world of hurt. As stringent as Bloomsbury has been about protecting the Harry Potter manuscript and its secrets, there's going to be a slew of lawyers descending on this second-rate bookstore employee with lots and lots of papers that will deprive him of all of the comfort he's enjoyed in his mother's basement for the past ten years. Even hear of wage garnishment, pal? Your crap's going to Rowling for a looooooooong, looooooooooong, time.


You know, it's amazing to me that so many people derive so much pleasure out of ruining it for everyone else. I really, really hope this guy gets what is coming to him. Running his toes through a woodchipper comes to mind. As a reader, and a fan of Rowling and her work, I am very, very angry. I'm an adult, so I can deal with it; I just hate to think of how this makes the kids who've been eagerly waiting for this feel.

As a writer it really pisses me off. Rowling, too, has been waiting for this release for ten years. The excitement she must feel at bringing her quest to conclusion is incomprehensible to me, mostly because I can't imagine anyone wanting to know the end of MY series on this level. So some anonymous slimeball thought it was funny to ruin it for her too.


So, I hope you got your rocks off, pal. I hope you're getting a big old chuckle out of this. you won't be laughing for long.

And if anyone thinks that my rants about e-piracy were ridiculous, think about how ten million children worldwide must feel tonight. The glory, the curiosity, the fascination, the anticipation of these last few days has now been ruined for them--and all because someone thought that freedom of speech extended to thievery.