So we don't do cards in my house. I have never seen the need to enhance Hallmark's financial status with inadequate poetry and tritisms scrawled on animated card stock. Instead, we make cards for each other.
Don't misunderstand me. These cards aren't pretty. They're usually done on torn-off squares of legal pads or printer paper and drawn with ink pen. Usually they have stick figures on them. And usually they are irreverently funny.
Yep. We make fun of each other. For example, this year my Valentine has a stick figure of a teenager at a computer in the bottom right hand corner on every page with the caption *click click clickety click whatever click*. She was not amused. I laughed until I cried.
It's been a good way to keep track of events that happen around here every day. Numerous little contretemps have been immortalized in our cards---fights with random co-workers years ago that now mean nothing, cats and kittens with habits, milestones, fights, make ups, back surgery----all remembered on little stacks of papers.
Last year, I went through my mother's papers after she died. I found all sorts of things among them, but most interesting to me were the cards. Even as a kid, I made cards for holidays.
She kept them. Kept them all.
I think I will too. I appreciate the sentiments (smartass as they are) of reality, and not some cardboard, mass-produced, obligatory cliche.'
Happy Valentine's Day. Click click clickety click whatever click.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Anticipation
Mwahahahaha!
At last, my moment of glory has arrived! Today a winter storm begins that promises to drop between 6 and 10 inches of snow on Ohio! That means....
THE RETURN OF THE ANATOMICALLY CORRECT SNOWMEN!
Tee hee.
Last year, I started the anatomically correct snowmen to annoy the very condescending Pentecostal minister across the street. Since then, I've moved.
But guess what?
*snicker*
I'm four houses down from a BAPTIST CHURCH!
Oh the joy! Oh the rapture! Now I get to offend more than just a mere family! I get to piss off an entire CONGEGRATION! The only thing that could POSSIBLY be more fun to me would be if Hillary Clinton lost her voice--permanent laryngitis would be cause for celebration.
All of my tools are ready to go, including red food coloring to enhance that oh-so-cute human flesh tone. Although the rest of the family is clamoring for a gigantic bird in the front yard (not the animal but the gesture) I'm still holding out for very cold nudity.
And the greatest benefit of this? In the middle of the storm, the snow is supposed to change to ICE. ROFLMAO! That will keep my artistic endeavors solidly in the Christian eye for a loooooooooooong time.
Life is good. I think I'll go bake some brownies.
At last, my moment of glory has arrived! Today a winter storm begins that promises to drop between 6 and 10 inches of snow on Ohio! That means....
THE RETURN OF THE ANATOMICALLY CORRECT SNOWMEN!
Tee hee.
Last year, I started the anatomically correct snowmen to annoy the very condescending Pentecostal minister across the street. Since then, I've moved.
But guess what?
*snicker*
I'm four houses down from a BAPTIST CHURCH!
Oh the joy! Oh the rapture! Now I get to offend more than just a mere family! I get to piss off an entire CONGEGRATION! The only thing that could POSSIBLY be more fun to me would be if Hillary Clinton lost her voice--permanent laryngitis would be cause for celebration.
All of my tools are ready to go, including red food coloring to enhance that oh-so-cute human flesh tone. Although the rest of the family is clamoring for a gigantic bird in the front yard (not the animal but the gesture) I'm still holding out for very cold nudity.
And the greatest benefit of this? In the middle of the storm, the snow is supposed to change to ICE. ROFLMAO! That will keep my artistic endeavors solidly in the Christian eye for a loooooooooooong time.
Life is good. I think I'll go bake some brownies.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
How To Find Inspiration
After all of my pontificating as of late about the fine art of writing (yes, pontificating is my word du jour) I find myself in the unenviable situation of desperately seeking inspiration. I've been sick the past few days with a nasty cold (thanks a lot you stupid groundhog) and haven't even opened up my laptop since the weekend.
Until today.
At which point, I found myself staring blankly at a half-finished chapter thinking, "Now, how in the hell am I going to finish THIS?"
Apparently the gears of the machine are a little rusty. Now I have to figure out what type of oil to apply to get things running smoothly again. Once upon a time, I would have just switched projects. Usually moving from one story to another enables me to jar the muse off her corncob ( and NO I won't say where that corncob is) and my creativity starts to flow again. Today, for some reason, that isn't working. Therefore, I find myself following my own advice and blogging to see if anything starts to work.
The problems I face in different types of fiction are completely different. It's not uncommon for me to insert a sort of stream-of-consciousness scene into a stagnant story just to see where the characters take me. This works fairly well for mainstream fantasy work--and occasionally I even leave the scene in. That sort of soul-searching is a very human trait, and one that I beleive has a place in fiction. The downside of that tendency can be found in writing erotica novellas.
Anyone who reads my erotica knows that my novellas are actually a complete book--intended to be read consecutively with no break in the action. Anyone in my writing crit group can tell you that I don't write *short.* Keeping to 30k is a chore for me. As a matter of fact, book three of the Shequanti is starting to look like a book three and a book four if I don't rein it in. The problem I'm running into is a plot snag that JUST....WON'T......RESOLVE.....
Damnit!
I see one way to resolve it--but that would definitely MAKE a fourth book necessary. It is obviously very easy for me to write myself into a corner. This time I may have written myself down the hall.
*sigh*
Oh, well. Back to the grind. If you ever wondered why this blog is called "Elf Killing and other Hobbies" now you know the answer.
Darn those Elves anyway.
Until today.
At which point, I found myself staring blankly at a half-finished chapter thinking, "Now, how in the hell am I going to finish THIS?"
Apparently the gears of the machine are a little rusty. Now I have to figure out what type of oil to apply to get things running smoothly again. Once upon a time, I would have just switched projects. Usually moving from one story to another enables me to jar the muse off her corncob ( and NO I won't say where that corncob is) and my creativity starts to flow again. Today, for some reason, that isn't working. Therefore, I find myself following my own advice and blogging to see if anything starts to work.
The problems I face in different types of fiction are completely different. It's not uncommon for me to insert a sort of stream-of-consciousness scene into a stagnant story just to see where the characters take me. This works fairly well for mainstream fantasy work--and occasionally I even leave the scene in. That sort of soul-searching is a very human trait, and one that I beleive has a place in fiction. The downside of that tendency can be found in writing erotica novellas.
Anyone who reads my erotica knows that my novellas are actually a complete book--intended to be read consecutively with no break in the action. Anyone in my writing crit group can tell you that I don't write *short.* Keeping to 30k is a chore for me. As a matter of fact, book three of the Shequanti is starting to look like a book three and a book four if I don't rein it in. The problem I'm running into is a plot snag that JUST....WON'T......RESOLVE.....
Damnit!
I see one way to resolve it--but that would definitely MAKE a fourth book necessary. It is obviously very easy for me to write myself into a corner. This time I may have written myself down the hall.
*sigh*
Oh, well. Back to the grind. If you ever wondered why this blog is called "Elf Killing and other Hobbies" now you know the answer.
Darn those Elves anyway.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Never Trust A Rat
Groundhog day. Great tradition-one that's manned by the lyingest rodent ever to walk the face of the planet. Spring's right around the corner, eh? How far away IS that corner, hmmm????
Let's see. On the fifth of January it was 62 degrees and sunny here. Today it's 5 degrees with snow, 25 mph winds, and a will chill of 15 below.
Thanks for the help, Phil. You're a prince.
Normally I like winter. I like the aspect of winter when it's 32 degrees and snowing--BUT it's the kind of snow that melts on the road and just makes everything look pretty. But sub-zero temperatures? *shudders in horror*
If I wanted that kind of weather, I'd live in Canada.
The only good thing about this weekend? The Super Bowl--and I DON'T have to work! I'm excited! I actually get to watch a football game while sitting down? *faints* I'm not sure how I'll handle that! As long as Indianapolis wins, I'll be in a good mood. It's not that I have anything against Chicago, but Indy....well, Peyton Manning is my boy!
It is nice that we have two teams in the Super Bowl this year that aren't there every other year. Maybe now all of the nay-sayers can shut up about Peyton being a *choke* quarterback. He made it to the big game. If Indy wins, then he'll have the ring. It's a given that he's going into the Hall of Fame. Maybe it's time to give him his due.
There's my daily ramble. Excuse me while I toss a couple more logs on the fire and plot ways to stew a groundhog. Stay warm!
Let's see. On the fifth of January it was 62 degrees and sunny here. Today it's 5 degrees with snow, 25 mph winds, and a will chill of 15 below.
Thanks for the help, Phil. You're a prince.
Normally I like winter. I like the aspect of winter when it's 32 degrees and snowing--BUT it's the kind of snow that melts on the road and just makes everything look pretty. But sub-zero temperatures? *shudders in horror*
If I wanted that kind of weather, I'd live in Canada.
The only good thing about this weekend? The Super Bowl--and I DON'T have to work! I'm excited! I actually get to watch a football game while sitting down? *faints* I'm not sure how I'll handle that! As long as Indianapolis wins, I'll be in a good mood. It's not that I have anything against Chicago, but Indy....well, Peyton Manning is my boy!
It is nice that we have two teams in the Super Bowl this year that aren't there every other year. Maybe now all of the nay-sayers can shut up about Peyton being a *choke* quarterback. He made it to the big game. If Indy wins, then he'll have the ring. It's a given that he's going into the Hall of Fame. Maybe it's time to give him his due.
There's my daily ramble. Excuse me while I toss a couple more logs on the fire and plot ways to stew a groundhog. Stay warm!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
What Kind of Moron Do you Have To Be?????
All I have to say to start off this post is : Jesus H. Christ.
This from the Associated Press:
How freaking stupid do you have to be?? Seriously, folks, let's look at this logically. In this day and age, in the UNITED STATES, how could this publicity ploy have possibly gone through as many hands as it did without someone saying, "Er, excuse me....isn't this illegal?"
Again from the Associated Press:
And this didn't raise any red flags? TEN cities? There are apparently 24 more of these devices that have NOT been found in Boston alone. Let's do the math, just to figure up criminal penalties. (What a FUN pastime when tallying up moron points) Each device is worth 20 years in the pen for planting the device PLUS 5 more for inciting panic. Okay---240 devices times 25.....wow. That's 6000 years' worth of criminal penalties. SIX THOUSAND years in prison. Jeffrey Dahmer didn't get that much. On top of that, let's add in the punitive damages for the taxpayers' money utilized to mobilize hundreds of first responders for a HOAX. Hmmm.....Boston says half a million.
At this moment, one guy has been arrested--the guy who planted the devices. Whoa--hold on a second: the PEON gets arrested? Granted, he should have known better too, but what about the REAL perpetrators? What about Interference, Inc. -- the marketing firm who developed this bone-headed publicity campaign? What about Turner Broadcasting, the corporate megasaur who okayed this really freaking STUPID publicity campaign? Somewhere along the line the "executives" who put their Ivy League educations to good use and thought this would be funny and effective should pay the price. What about the animators of Aqua Teen Hunger Force who quite evidently collaborated with this idiocy? What portion of the responsibility is theirs?
Think of it this way: how much turmoil was caused in Boston today by these events? What if the closing of I-93 caused someone to die en route to the hosiptal as a result of an unforeseen detour? How many fires, assaults, robberies, health emergencies were put on hold so that the departments involved in the "bomb" scare could work to insure the safety of the citizens of Boston? What is the toll in human life, or property, or even in personal comfort?
It's impossible to gauge it.
Here's the way I look at it. As of today, I don't EVER need to watch anything on a Turner owned channel. EVER. It's a pity, because I LIKE Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network. However, if Turner Broadcasting is so ignorant, so misguided, so secure in its smug self-worth as to endanger the lives of American citizens in order to promote a movie then they do NOT require my support in any way, shape or form. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was never a show that I cared much for, but now I will never have to watch it again. It's on the Cartoon Network and, well, I won't be watching that channel any more. Interference, Inc. should immediately shut its doors. Period. The Boston city government, the state of Massachussetts, and the federal government should prosecute EVERY SINGLE PERSON INVOLVED WITH THIS PUBLICITY STUNT to the fullest extent of the law...all the way up to Ted Turner. Period. After all, again from the Associated Press,
Send them all to prison for a long, long, time.
On a scarier note--let me get this straight. These devices were in TEN cities? For 2-3 weeks? And we're only NOW learning about them?
Scary, man, scary.
That's the best we could do? Well, thank the gods for small favors. At least these "Packages" were a stupid-ass publicity ploy set by corporate dorks as opposed to real terrorist activity. Every terrorist in the world's ears perked up today.
I hope they're not the only ones who learned a painful lesson today.
This from the Associated Press:
BOSTON - Several illuminated electronic devices planted at bridges and other spots in Boston threw a scare into the city Wednesday in what turned out to be a publicity campaign for a late-night cable cartoon. Most if not all of the devices depict a character giving the finger.
How freaking stupid do you have to be?? Seriously, folks, let's look at this logically. In this day and age, in the UNITED STATES, how could this publicity ploy have possibly gone through as many hands as it did without someone saying, "Er, excuse me....isn't this illegal?"
Again from the Associated Press:
It said the devices have been in place for two to three weeks in 10 cities: Boston; New York; Los Angeles; Chicago; Atlanta; Seattle; Portland, Ore.; Austin, Texas; San Francisco; and Philadelphia.
And this didn't raise any red flags? TEN cities? There are apparently 24 more of these devices that have NOT been found in Boston alone. Let's do the math, just to figure up criminal penalties. (What a FUN pastime when tallying up moron points) Each device is worth 20 years in the pen for planting the device PLUS 5 more for inciting panic. Okay---240 devices times 25.....wow. That's 6000 years' worth of criminal penalties. SIX THOUSAND years in prison. Jeffrey Dahmer didn't get that much. On top of that, let's add in the punitive damages for the taxpayers' money utilized to mobilize hundreds of first responders for a HOAX. Hmmm.....Boston says half a million.
At this moment, one guy has been arrested--the guy who planted the devices. Whoa--hold on a second: the PEON gets arrested? Granted, he should have known better too, but what about the REAL perpetrators? What about Interference, Inc. -- the marketing firm who developed this bone-headed publicity campaign? What about Turner Broadcasting, the corporate megasaur who okayed this really freaking STUPID publicity campaign? Somewhere along the line the "executives" who put their Ivy League educations to good use and thought this would be funny and effective should pay the price. What about the animators of Aqua Teen Hunger Force who quite evidently collaborated with this idiocy? What portion of the responsibility is theirs?
Think of it this way: how much turmoil was caused in Boston today by these events? What if the closing of I-93 caused someone to die en route to the hosiptal as a result of an unforeseen detour? How many fires, assaults, robberies, health emergencies were put on hold so that the departments involved in the "bomb" scare could work to insure the safety of the citizens of Boston? What is the toll in human life, or property, or even in personal comfort?
It's impossible to gauge it.
Here's the way I look at it. As of today, I don't EVER need to watch anything on a Turner owned channel. EVER. It's a pity, because I LIKE Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network. However, if Turner Broadcasting is so ignorant, so misguided, so secure in its smug self-worth as to endanger the lives of American citizens in order to promote a movie then they do NOT require my support in any way, shape or form. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was never a show that I cared much for, but now I will never have to watch it again. It's on the Cartoon Network and, well, I won't be watching that channel any more. Interference, Inc. should immediately shut its doors. Period. The Boston city government, the state of Massachussetts, and the federal government should prosecute EVERY SINGLE PERSON INVOLVED WITH THIS PUBLICITY STUNT to the fullest extent of the law...all the way up to Ted Turner. Period. After all, again from the Associated Press,
Turner did not notify officials of the publicity campaign until around 5 p.m., nearly four hours after the first calls came in about the devices, she and others said.
Send them all to prison for a long, long, time.
On a scarier note--let me get this straight. These devices were in TEN cities? For 2-3 weeks? And we're only NOW learning about them?
Scary, man, scary.
That's the best we could do? Well, thank the gods for small favors. At least these "Packages" were a stupid-ass publicity ploy set by corporate dorks as opposed to real terrorist activity. Every terrorist in the world's ears perked up today.
I hope they're not the only ones who learned a painful lesson today.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
The Detriments of a One-Book Library
I just want you to imagine the expression on my face. Let me set the scene: I worked last night at the bar until 3 a.m. I have not, as of yet, managed to get any sleep. At 4:45 a.m. this morning, I was running the vacuum to get shards of crystal out of my carpet and muttering dire threats of bodily harm to whichever stupid cat had knocked it off. Finally, I gave up on the sleep notion and decided to just go all day (and my night shift) without any shut-eye.
Looking for some sort of entertainment (cable TV sucks now that college football season is over) I opened up my laptop and hopped online. Wandering through cyberspace, I come across this quote:
My first response: spit take on a cup of coffee. My second response: darnit, that had Bailey's in it! My third response: What in the HELL is this?
Then I had a revelation. Oooooh, I get it!
The first clue: the name of the website is HisVoiceToday. This is the website of Laura Mallory, the lady who is taking her case for removing Harry Potter from public schools to the Supreme Court.
Are you freaking kidding me? Doesn't this woman have anything better to do with her time? Like maybe, oh, I don't know--volunteer at the local hospital or nursing home or work to help child literacy or maybe even (dare I say it??) to READ THE FREAKING BOOKS?
She hasn't read them. She's condemning something she hasn't even read. Once upon a time, a year or so ago, I had a very ugly confrontation with a member of my writing group (at the time; I have since departed) on this very subject. She, a WRITER, had nothing good to say about Eragon and she HAD NOT READ THE STORY.
*takes a deep breath*
Okay, morons, let's walk through this slowly. First off, you can't ban a book you haven't read. That's just plain stupid. How can you judge something you know nothing about? Isn't that along the same lines as racism? sexism? homophobism? IF you don't READ the book, then your opinion about said book is worthless.
The ALA (American Legal Association) has compiled a list of the most challenged books of the 21st century. Here's the list:
1. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
2. "The Chocolate War" by Robert Cormier
3. Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
4. "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck
5. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou
6. "Fallen Angels" by Walter Dean Myers
7. "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris
8. Scary Stories series by Alvin Schwartz
9. Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey
10. "Forever" by Judy Blume
Huh? "Of Mice and Men?" You're joking right--surely no one is stupid enough to want to ban one of the great books of the 20th century, would they? A Judy Blume book? Noooooooo. Maya Angelou? People really have a problem with a book that rates as one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had in literature? No way. We're not THAT dumb....are we? And right there at the top--the Harry Potter series.
Congratulations, Ms. Rowling. You're keeping good company.
I've read Harry Potter. I own all the movies. I picked up the first Harry Potter book on a whim. I love children's literature; I still read Louisa May Alcott and the Anne of Green Gables series and the high school and beyond years of Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart. So, when I opened Harry Potter, it was more to see what all the fuss was about.
I discovered that quickly. The writing is evocative. The characterizations are brilliant. The premise is so creative and the implementation so skillfully done that when I finished the first book, I went to the bookstore and bought the other three that were out then just so I could see what happened next.
And what happened next? This:
Ooooooooookay. Tell me: if kids view witchcraft as 'good' and 'fun', then how could they also see it as 'harmless fantasy'??? After all, Harry Potter encourages people to pick up the occult, right?
Oh, okay. It's okay for people to read about witchcraft--but only if they're going to agree with you. For the record, witchcraft is NOT a religion. Wicca is a religion. If you really wanted to get technical, Harry Potter isn't a witch. Hermione is. Harry is a sorcerer.
*had to say it*
But this one is the kicker:
Okay so let me get this straight. Something evil is responsible for Harry Potter. Could it be......SATAN??????
Whoever said ignorance is bliss wasn't thinking about the rest of us. You know, one of the biggest problems we face as a nation is the overwhelming "Christian" desire a portion of our population has to stick their oh-so-holy-and-in-the-air noses into other people's lives.
Ms. Mallory, if you want a book to ban I can help you out. *grin* I just happen to have a few .pdf downloads of a few novellas I've written--nothing much, you understand, but they do deal with pagan gods and magic. And while I haven't written about Satan yet, I have written about his Greek equivalent. I'd be more than happy to send you some copies--free of charge of course! Who knows? It might broaden your narrow-minded, tight-lipped, sanctimonious horizons a bare centimeter or two. There are way too many "Christian" deeds for a lady such as yourself to perform--deeds that will make an immediate impact upon a family or your community and will serve you much better when you get to the pearly gates and must account for yourself. You see, the books you are attacking are almost single-handedly responsible for bringing children (and some adults) back to the joys and wonder of reading. J.K. Rowling contributes much more than her writing; she aggressively contributes and solicits aid for single parent families in the UK and does a lot of work for the MS Society as well. Can you say the same?
Perhaps if you had more than one book in your personal library, you'd understand these things better.
But I'm not mad at you. No, not at all. After all,
Oh, and
See what happens when you READ the book before you condemn it? On second thought, maybe you should spend more time reading the Bible. Obviously, you've missed a few things.
Looking for some sort of entertainment (cable TV sucks now that college football season is over) I opened up my laptop and hopped online. Wandering through cyberspace, I come across this quote:
This decision to appeal was made after much prayer and consideration, and significant answers to prayer confirming God's will regarding this case. Witchcraft is an abomination (profoundly evil and detestable) unto God. (Deut. 18:10-12) It's time we listen to His Voice on the subject and not the dictates of our own hearts.
Harry Potter is being used to teach and promote witchcraft, Wicca, a U.S. Gov't recognized religion, in our schools, classrooms, and to this entire generation.
My first response: spit take on a cup of coffee. My second response: darnit, that had Bailey's in it! My third response: What in the HELL is this?
Then I had a revelation. Oooooh, I get it!
The first clue: the name of the website is HisVoiceToday. This is the website of Laura Mallory, the lady who is taking her case for removing Harry Potter from public schools to the Supreme Court.
Are you freaking kidding me? Doesn't this woman have anything better to do with her time? Like maybe, oh, I don't know--volunteer at the local hospital or nursing home or work to help child literacy or maybe even (dare I say it??) to READ THE FREAKING BOOKS?
She hasn't read them. She's condemning something she hasn't even read. Once upon a time, a year or so ago, I had a very ugly confrontation with a member of my writing group (at the time; I have since departed) on this very subject. She, a WRITER, had nothing good to say about Eragon and she HAD NOT READ THE STORY.
*takes a deep breath*
Okay, morons, let's walk through this slowly. First off, you can't ban a book you haven't read. That's just plain stupid. How can you judge something you know nothing about? Isn't that along the same lines as racism? sexism? homophobism? IF you don't READ the book, then your opinion about said book is worthless.
The ALA (American Legal Association) has compiled a list of the most challenged books of the 21st century. Here's the list:
1. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
2. "The Chocolate War" by Robert Cormier
3. Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
4. "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck
5. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou
6. "Fallen Angels" by Walter Dean Myers
7. "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris
8. Scary Stories series by Alvin Schwartz
9. Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey
10. "Forever" by Judy Blume
Huh? "Of Mice and Men?" You're joking right--surely no one is stupid enough to want to ban one of the great books of the 20th century, would they? A Judy Blume book? Noooooooo. Maya Angelou? People really have a problem with a book that rates as one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had in literature? No way. We're not THAT dumb....are we? And right there at the top--the Harry Potter series.
Congratulations, Ms. Rowling. You're keeping good company.
I've read Harry Potter. I own all the movies. I picked up the first Harry Potter book on a whim. I love children's literature; I still read Louisa May Alcott and the Anne of Green Gables series and the high school and beyond years of Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart. So, when I opened Harry Potter, it was more to see what all the fuss was about.
I discovered that quickly. The writing is evocative. The characterizations are brilliant. The premise is so creative and the implementation so skillfully done that when I finished the first book, I went to the bookstore and bought the other three that were out then just so I could see what happened next.
And what happened next? This:
Today's generation faces evil like no other in history with the bombardment of violent, sexual and occult images of our modern mass media. I think perhaps we are so desensitized, we couldn't recognize it even if on the plate in front of us. This case addresses only one facet of that evil, being spoon-fed to our children, even in the public schools. With the deceptive, exciting, children-friendly packaging of witchcraft in the Harry Potter series, our youth today view witchcraft not only as good and fun, but harmless fantasy.
Ooooooooookay. Tell me: if kids view witchcraft as 'good' and 'fun', then how could they also see it as 'harmless fantasy'??? After all, Harry Potter encourages people to pick up the occult, right?
I cannot count the times I have been told that these books are "just fantasy." But if you would like to know the truth, please keep reading and do your own research. Not only is witchcraft a real religion, subtly intriguing and alluring our children and teens in unprecedented numbers, it is a dangerous one, often leaving its followers in darkness, depression and even suicidal.
Oh, okay. It's okay for people to read about witchcraft--but only if they're going to agree with you. For the record, witchcraft is NOT a religion. Wicca is a religion. If you really wanted to get technical, Harry Potter isn't a witch. Hermione is. Harry is a sorcerer.
*had to say it*
But this one is the kicker:
We need to ask ourselves three questions
1. Do you believe in a real devil?
2. Do you believe the occult practices listed in Deuteronomy 18 are really dangerous and do they really come from Satan?
3. How likely is it that the real devil, (Lucifer-Satan) has nothing to do with the worlds fastest selling book on the planet, that are communicating concepts of witchcraft to kids? (From: Steven Wohlberg, Hour of the Witch)
Okay so let me get this straight. Something evil is responsible for Harry Potter. Could it be......SATAN??????
Whoever said ignorance is bliss wasn't thinking about the rest of us. You know, one of the biggest problems we face as a nation is the overwhelming "Christian" desire a portion of our population has to stick their oh-so-holy-and-in-the-air noses into other people's lives.
Ms. Mallory, if you want a book to ban I can help you out. *grin* I just happen to have a few .pdf downloads of a few novellas I've written--nothing much, you understand, but they do deal with pagan gods and magic. And while I haven't written about Satan yet, I have written about his Greek equivalent. I'd be more than happy to send you some copies--free of charge of course! Who knows? It might broaden your narrow-minded, tight-lipped, sanctimonious horizons a bare centimeter or two. There are way too many "Christian" deeds for a lady such as yourself to perform--deeds that will make an immediate impact upon a family or your community and will serve you much better when you get to the pearly gates and must account for yourself. You see, the books you are attacking are almost single-handedly responsible for bringing children (and some adults) back to the joys and wonder of reading. J.K. Rowling contributes much more than her writing; she aggressively contributes and solicits aid for single parent families in the UK and does a lot of work for the MS Society as well. Can you say the same?
Perhaps if you had more than one book in your personal library, you'd understand these things better.
But I'm not mad at you. No, not at all. After all,
But a witless man can no more become wise than a wild donkey's colt can
be born a man.---Job 11:12
Oh, and
You who are simple, gain prudence; you who are foolish, gain
understanding. Proverbs 8:5
See what happens when you READ the book before you condemn it? On second thought, maybe you should spend more time reading the Bible. Obviously, you've missed a few things.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
What Did I Do Wrong?
I am currently beating my head against the desk. I just got to listen to my daughter go off on an anti-abortion tirade.
Wait. Let me say that again. MY daughter (who apparently has absorbed NOTHING in my house) is ranting like an established 60-year-old pro-life male. Anyone who knows me is perfectly well aware that I am anything but indifferent to political issues. They also know that my basic tenet on such issues boils down to PERSONAL choices, whether those choices deal with abortion or who to vote for or homosexuality.
PERSONAL choice.
But, oh my heart stopped to hear my daughter go off on a tirade about *baby-murder.* Damnit. It's not so much her stance that I disagree with; it's the complete and total lack of tolerance for a point of view that she does not share. Evidently, I have failed in one aspect of parenting--despite all the allusions to the contrary, I have neglected to instill an open mind into at least one of my children.
Now, it is important for ME to have an open mind in regards to HER. If I say no to any request, I am narrow-minded. I've even been called old-fashioned.
ROFLMAO! Yes, I laughed at that too. Laughed hysterically until tears rolled down my face. If she only knew! Old-fashioned? Okay--if you can call having 21st century ideals old-fashioned then I guess I am.
But this? What's next? Racism? Homophobia? An affiliation with *gasp* either of the two American political parties?????
Say it ain't so, Joe. Say it ain't so.
It was almost more than I could do to restrain the comment (complete with statistics, Supreme Court decisions, and real-life examples) that bubbled to my lips when she told me. It was all I could do to remember my own priority on how important it is for my daughters to create their own points-of-view on ANY issue and not to impose my own upon. It was hard, VERY hard, to murmur a noncommittal "That's nice, dear." and walk away.
But, I did.
Maybe that will bring the lesson home, more than my previous lessons ever have.
Wait. Let me say that again. MY daughter (who apparently has absorbed NOTHING in my house) is ranting like an established 60-year-old pro-life male. Anyone who knows me is perfectly well aware that I am anything but indifferent to political issues. They also know that my basic tenet on such issues boils down to PERSONAL choices, whether those choices deal with abortion or who to vote for or homosexuality.
PERSONAL choice.
But, oh my heart stopped to hear my daughter go off on a tirade about *baby-murder.* Damnit. It's not so much her stance that I disagree with; it's the complete and total lack of tolerance for a point of view that she does not share. Evidently, I have failed in one aspect of parenting--despite all the allusions to the contrary, I have neglected to instill an open mind into at least one of my children.
Now, it is important for ME to have an open mind in regards to HER. If I say no to any request, I am narrow-minded. I've even been called old-fashioned.
ROFLMAO! Yes, I laughed at that too. Laughed hysterically until tears rolled down my face. If she only knew! Old-fashioned? Okay--if you can call having 21st century ideals old-fashioned then I guess I am.
But this? What's next? Racism? Homophobia? An affiliation with *gasp* either of the two American political parties?????
Say it ain't so, Joe. Say it ain't so.
It was almost more than I could do to restrain the comment (complete with statistics, Supreme Court decisions, and real-life examples) that bubbled to my lips when she told me. It was all I could do to remember my own priority on how important it is for my daughters to create their own points-of-view on ANY issue and not to impose my own upon. It was hard, VERY hard, to murmur a noncommittal "That's nice, dear." and walk away.
But, I did.
Maybe that will bring the lesson home, more than my previous lessons ever have.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Who needs to blog when...
.....you can make movies instead. This new program is addictive. Check out the Doom Bunny movie I made for Bibsy!
http://shootthemuse.bravehost.com/movies.html
The reason for all of this movie making frenzy? Well, let's just say other people don't know how to drive in the snow. Our van ended up in a ditch--hard--yesterday morning thanks to some idiot in a "four wheel drive" truck. Quite nice.
What was even nicer was the hospital trip afterward.
So, once again, I am laid up in bed and not permitted to move. Even I can't write for all those hours straight, so I've been amusing myself with making movies instead. I started looking into this because some authors I am acquainted with pay people to make promos for them. I wanted to see how easy it was.
It's not easy. It's not that hard, either. It is meticulous work, however, so I don't advise trying it if you're in the slightest bit easy to annoy.
Ten a.m.--time for more medicine.
http://shootthemuse.bravehost.com/movies.html
The reason for all of this movie making frenzy? Well, let's just say other people don't know how to drive in the snow. Our van ended up in a ditch--hard--yesterday morning thanks to some idiot in a "four wheel drive" truck. Quite nice.
What was even nicer was the hospital trip afterward.
So, once again, I am laid up in bed and not permitted to move. Even I can't write for all those hours straight, so I've been amusing myself with making movies instead. I started looking into this because some authors I am acquainted with pay people to make promos for them. I wanted to see how easy it was.
It's not easy. It's not that hard, either. It is meticulous work, however, so I don't advise trying it if you're in the slightest bit easy to annoy.
Ten a.m.--time for more medicine.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Too much time on my hands.
Oh dear. Found a new hobby today. Check out this movie!
http://www.toufee.com/cgi-bin/myMovie.pl?u=35081169226862
http://www.toufee.com/cgi-bin/myMovie.pl?u=35081169226862
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Ah......Release Day! Pass Me The Vodka
So, the Shequanti comes out today. Once again, I'm excited. I love it when I have something on the verge of publication. Will it do well? Will people like it? Will my fragile writer's ego be stoked by some anonymous reader actually giving me a "good job"?!?!?!
Ah, the possibilities.
Yeah, so it's an e-publication. Yeah, so it's erotica. Big whoop. I still try to craft the stories with as much care as I put into my other work--actually a little bit more. I don't have vocabularic problems with mainstream. There are only so many terms for anatomical features, after all. But, I strive to create a credible plot and vibrant characters and I still have those moments of "Oh, my gosh--what if it doesn't work?"
The fact that I can't write a single book plays into that. I mean, what if the first book is so loathed by the general population that my publisher says, "Uh. sorry but this sucks." ACK! That would go on the wall of shame with all of those rejection letters.
Oh, I haven't told you about my wall? This is pretty funny. For the longest time, I thought that it would be neat to frame acceptance letters and hang them over my desk for inspiration. However, since reverse psychology has always seemed to work better for me I've been hanging rejection letters. It's become my list of people to say "I told you so" to in a few years.
You know, a few years from now when I'm rich and famous.
Yeah, I cracked up at that line too.
At any rate, some of the rejections are so out there that I actually blew them up so that I read them while reclining in my chair. After all, who wouldn't want to look up at a moment when struggling with a dangling participle and see some poignant comment like, "This is the most derivative story I've read in five years."???
But, I digress.
This release is a bit different from the Mythos books. For one thing, the plot is entirely mine and not based on an obscure Roman novel from the second century. For another thing, it's more of a test of my storytelling skills. It would have been difficult to screw up Cupid and Psyche. The Shequanti, on the other hand, was born in my little head. That's enough to screw it up from the get-go.
We'll see how it goes. I'm sure that I'll be either crying or crowing about it in the days to come. All I know at this point is that I'm hitting another milestone today. Perhaps I've been taking baby steps, but I'm still on the path. I think I'll pop off and do some work on my website.
Excuse me, but could you pass the vodka?
Ah, the possibilities.
Yeah, so it's an e-publication. Yeah, so it's erotica. Big whoop. I still try to craft the stories with as much care as I put into my other work--actually a little bit more. I don't have vocabularic problems with mainstream. There are only so many terms for anatomical features, after all. But, I strive to create a credible plot and vibrant characters and I still have those moments of "Oh, my gosh--what if it doesn't work?"
The fact that I can't write a single book plays into that. I mean, what if the first book is so loathed by the general population that my publisher says, "Uh. sorry but this sucks." ACK! That would go on the wall of shame with all of those rejection letters.
Oh, I haven't told you about my wall? This is pretty funny. For the longest time, I thought that it would be neat to frame acceptance letters and hang them over my desk for inspiration. However, since reverse psychology has always seemed to work better for me I've been hanging rejection letters. It's become my list of people to say "I told you so" to in a few years.
You know, a few years from now when I'm rich and famous.
Yeah, I cracked up at that line too.
At any rate, some of the rejections are so out there that I actually blew them up so that I read them while reclining in my chair. After all, who wouldn't want to look up at a moment when struggling with a dangling participle and see some poignant comment like, "This is the most derivative story I've read in five years."???
But, I digress.
This release is a bit different from the Mythos books. For one thing, the plot is entirely mine and not based on an obscure Roman novel from the second century. For another thing, it's more of a test of my storytelling skills. It would have been difficult to screw up Cupid and Psyche. The Shequanti, on the other hand, was born in my little head. That's enough to screw it up from the get-go.
We'll see how it goes. I'm sure that I'll be either crying or crowing about it in the days to come. All I know at this point is that I'm hitting another milestone today. Perhaps I've been taking baby steps, but I'm still on the path. I think I'll pop off and do some work on my website.
Excuse me, but could you pass the vodka?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Playing Catch Up
All righty then. So far today has been somewhat productive, with my revamped anthology piece resubmitted to Dragon's Den. With the plot/character issues resolved, I think it makes for a much tighter piece---and I actually lost some words.
What? LOST words?
Yep--I lost about 500 words, which can only be to the good. I'll probably take another look at it when I get home from work tonight. There are a couple of other scenes I'm debating about keeping or not so I need to sit on it for a day or so and come back at it with a fresh mind.
In other news...
Getting a lot done on Shequanti 3. Spent some time this morning answering interview questions (gack! are you serious) and getting my promotional events lined up for the rest of the week. I have marked out space on my calendar (wow do I feel professional saying that) to get some more submissions circulating. I haven't had a rejection in a while; I'm starting to go through withdrawal. I have probably ten half-assed short stories I need to find a home for.
And a couple of novels or ten. *grin*
Turns out the release date for Shequanti 2 is now March the 9th. How distressing! I was hoping it would be in February--BUT, perhaps in the long run that's best anyway.
*momentary pause for cat ass-beating. china does not belong on the floor*
At any rate, I'll be doing some more work on the Shoot The Muse website this weekend and getting it in gear for the release of Asphodel. Which, I might add, is starting to make me nervous. What if it gets panned..... would I survive the emotional blow?
Meh. Damn Elves. I think I'll run off and kill a few more of them so I can get my equinamity back.
What? LOST words?
Yep--I lost about 500 words, which can only be to the good. I'll probably take another look at it when I get home from work tonight. There are a couple of other scenes I'm debating about keeping or not so I need to sit on it for a day or so and come back at it with a fresh mind.
In other news...
Getting a lot done on Shequanti 3. Spent some time this morning answering interview questions (gack! are you serious) and getting my promotional events lined up for the rest of the week. I have marked out space on my calendar (wow do I feel professional saying that) to get some more submissions circulating. I haven't had a rejection in a while; I'm starting to go through withdrawal. I have probably ten half-assed short stories I need to find a home for.
And a couple of novels or ten. *grin*
Turns out the release date for Shequanti 2 is now March the 9th. How distressing! I was hoping it would be in February--BUT, perhaps in the long run that's best anyway.
*momentary pause for cat ass-beating. china does not belong on the floor*
At any rate, I'll be doing some more work on the Shoot The Muse website this weekend and getting it in gear for the release of Asphodel. Which, I might add, is starting to make me nervous. What if it gets panned..... would I survive the emotional blow?
Meh. Damn Elves. I think I'll run off and kill a few more of them so I can get my equinamity back.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down
All right, already. It's January. Get over the damn rain crap and SNOW would you? This cold, miserable, incessant rain gives me a pain in the ass--okay the lower back about two vertabrae up from the ass but STILL--you get my point.
What a nasty day. No need to do anything today but write. I had a very productive day on Friday and I'm hoping to exceed that today. I have to tend bar the next two nights (waste of time), have a book release on Thursday and a hell of a lot of writing to get done. Hopefully, it will snow enough here to force me to stay home for a couple more days (thank goodness for geographic location--living on top of hill has multiple benefits)but I can't bank on that.
Oh, and by the way, you know I'm depressed if I willingly quote the Carpenters.
At any rate, I'm off to try and hit my target for the day--which is finishing book three of the Shequanti and getting some serious revisionary work done on Asphodel. I'll pop back in later with a word count.
Cheers!
What a nasty day. No need to do anything today but write. I had a very productive day on Friday and I'm hoping to exceed that today. I have to tend bar the next two nights (waste of time), have a book release on Thursday and a hell of a lot of writing to get done. Hopefully, it will snow enough here to force me to stay home for a couple more days (thank goodness for geographic location--living on top of hill has multiple benefits)but I can't bank on that.
Oh, and by the way, you know I'm depressed if I willingly quote the Carpenters.
At any rate, I'm off to try and hit my target for the day--which is finishing book three of the Shequanti and getting some serious revisionary work done on Asphodel. I'll pop back in later with a word count.
Cheers!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Blogging as an Exercise for Writers
So, continuing on my lecture of yesterday, let's consider blogging my writing exercise of the day.
You've all heard me harp--incessantly--on the need to write daily. Every day. At least something. Even a grocery list can be creative if you sit down and put some thought into it. How is the store laid out? What do I need to buy first? Saving the frozen foods for last--it's a plan, a scheme of action that forces you to think through what you're going to do.
The same thing applies to blogging. How do I open up my mind and explore the (usually odd) sequence of events that's mulling around in there? How difficult is it to get my fingers moving on the keyboard? If I start off with a boring, mundane topic (like blogging as an exercise for writers) where will that take me?
The fact of the matter is that blogging employs WORDS. Words are a writer's tool. In order to write effectively, you have to be able to sculpt your words into a meaningful sequence. Some of you know that instead of a minimum word count per day, I employ time blocks as my spur to action. Word counts are deceptive. Yesterday, for example, was an extremely prolific day. I cranked out over 14k. That is a LOT--even for me. Nine times out of ten, however, I'd rather produce two thousand well-thought-out words than fifteen thousand aimless ones.
There are days when the thought process moves slower. I have to stop and plan what I'm going to do next, or I discover a character whose personality isn't quite shaping up. So, I'll use part of my allotted time in problem solving. Even that is productive--extremely productive for the creator of fiction.
With blogging, however, it's all about the flow of words, the ability to take a nebulous thought and craft it into a logical, pertinent expression of where the writer is at. Granted, where I'm at is usually not all that fabulous of place--BUT, finding a way to EXPRESS that....ay, there's the rub.
Sometimes blogging turns into meme. Nothing wrong with that--particularly if your meme is sarcastic and attempts to be humorous. It's a personal journal, a revelation of the personality of the writer. For the most part, however, blogging takes on a life of its own. What starts out as a rant turns into a lesson--and sometimes the lesson is for the blogger more than their readers.
So sit down, open up a blog post, and write. It doesn't matter what it is; it doesn't matter what it's about. It's writing, and that is an exercise that writers need to employ daily. Who needs pilates? Think of this as yoga for the mind. As your flexibility grows, as your mind moves through the intricate shaping of words and thoughts, your creativity expands with it--and it's much easier to attack that story that's giving you fits or that plot development that made you pull your hair out the day before.
Hop to it. Blog daily---then write.
You've all heard me harp--incessantly--on the need to write daily. Every day. At least something. Even a grocery list can be creative if you sit down and put some thought into it. How is the store laid out? What do I need to buy first? Saving the frozen foods for last--it's a plan, a scheme of action that forces you to think through what you're going to do.
The same thing applies to blogging. How do I open up my mind and explore the (usually odd) sequence of events that's mulling around in there? How difficult is it to get my fingers moving on the keyboard? If I start off with a boring, mundane topic (like blogging as an exercise for writers) where will that take me?
The fact of the matter is that blogging employs WORDS. Words are a writer's tool. In order to write effectively, you have to be able to sculpt your words into a meaningful sequence. Some of you know that instead of a minimum word count per day, I employ time blocks as my spur to action. Word counts are deceptive. Yesterday, for example, was an extremely prolific day. I cranked out over 14k. That is a LOT--even for me. Nine times out of ten, however, I'd rather produce two thousand well-thought-out words than fifteen thousand aimless ones.
There are days when the thought process moves slower. I have to stop and plan what I'm going to do next, or I discover a character whose personality isn't quite shaping up. So, I'll use part of my allotted time in problem solving. Even that is productive--extremely productive for the creator of fiction.
With blogging, however, it's all about the flow of words, the ability to take a nebulous thought and craft it into a logical, pertinent expression of where the writer is at. Granted, where I'm at is usually not all that fabulous of place--BUT, finding a way to EXPRESS that....ay, there's the rub.
Sometimes blogging turns into meme. Nothing wrong with that--particularly if your meme is sarcastic and attempts to be humorous. It's a personal journal, a revelation of the personality of the writer. For the most part, however, blogging takes on a life of its own. What starts out as a rant turns into a lesson--and sometimes the lesson is for the blogger more than their readers.
So sit down, open up a blog post, and write. It doesn't matter what it is; it doesn't matter what it's about. It's writing, and that is an exercise that writers need to employ daily. Who needs pilates? Think of this as yoga for the mind. As your flexibility grows, as your mind moves through the intricate shaping of words and thoughts, your creativity expands with it--and it's much easier to attack that story that's giving you fits or that plot development that made you pull your hair out the day before.
Hop to it. Blog daily---then write.
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